Staffroom Notices
A vase with twirly sticks and a dying plant were stolen. Please be vigilant.
Staff are reminded to wash jackets with nightsleepers REMOVED.
Geyser the fridge with unused food.
Lock all unused crispbread.
Custard not collected is going to be continuous.
Remove any old magazines heating up the windowsill.
Name and date stale blue flies with dust.
Rip the clock at the end of each day.
Staffroom notices is a found poem that uses as its base text a few notes (see below) that I had written in one of the staff rooms. I felt sorry for those who had to spend what little free time they had there. Lots of notices had been put up; they abounded in capitals, underlinings and exclamation marks.
Staffroom notes
Smallish room. Lockers as you come in the door. Chairs arranged in a rectangle by the window. Litter lying about. On the windowsill, a vase with some twirly sticks in it and a dying plant, some old magazines, dust and dead flies. Cardigans and jackets flung over the backs of chairs whose fabric is ripped. A blanket on one of the chairs implying nightsleepers. Blue carpet with a pattern of grey specks. A stale smell in the air, hints of bakery products, fabric conditioner and urine. A kitchen area with a sink, a kettle, a microwave, paper towels, a fridge, a geyser with a notice cautioning continuous hot water at 60˚C. A clock on the wall. A big white metal bin with a foot pedal. Two empty water bottles on top of the fridge. A carton of ‘tubbies’. Two notice boards with sundry posters and adverts for flats on them. Other notices stuck on the walls: Staff are reminded to lock all belongings away. Possessions were stolen in this staffroom on the 25/2/09. Please be vigilant. Please name and date all food when placing in fridge. Remove any unused food at the end of each day, or the fridge is going to be REMOVED. Staff are reminded to wash and dry dishes after use. It is not fair on others constantly having to do the washing up!! Please put milk carton tops in the bag for dialysis. Thank you. A first year student eating her lunch of crispbread, low fat cheese spread and fruit. Another student heating up some stew. A staff nurse sitting at a square table eating a big bowl of sponge and custard and reading the paper. Milk carton tops in a plastic bag that had not been collected.